Bridesmaid DOs and Definitely DON'Ts
Inspired by one of our favourite blogs, Hurrah for Gin.
There can be mixed feelings about being asked to be somebody's bridesmaid. I have done the job myself six times so far (although I feel I may be pushing it to be anyone’s maid now I am more of the matronly, granny pant-wearing persuasion). Obviously, and not just because all six of them will read this, I have been thrilled to be asked on each of those occasions. There are though, generally just three reactions to being asked this often contentious question....
1. Elation and borderline wetting yourself with excitement
Usually reserved for the cream of the crop friendship-wise and close siblings. They don’t even really ask you, it’s assumed, but there’s an asking of sorts which is basically an excuse to go to the pub, again, and get legitimately off your rocker on Prosecco, again.
2. Shock and confusion. You just didn’t see it coming
Are we that close? Oh god, do I have to ask her to be mine? I didn’t realise I was her best friend, is she mine? And lots more inner turmoil about the state of the friendship. Add to that a pinch of fear about all the shite you’re going to have to do for the wedding when you really just wanted to be a guest with zero responsibility.
3. Pure rage
This normally follows ludicrous requests from distant family members, other halves friends girlfriends, an annoying work colleague or similar. You know you have been picked because she has no female (or indeed male) friends. She knows you're super fun and popular and is trying to be by association.
Whichever is more fitting, once you've committed, please take note of the following:
VERY IMPORTANT DOs AND DON'Ts....
1. DON'T be a toxic bridesmaid
You know, the one that's all smiles but is secretly thinking of stabbing the bride in her sleep. This bubbling resentment occasionally spills out in not so closeted forms:
2. DO tell the bride she is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen
Even if she looks like a dog's dinner, which she won't because all brides are beautiful (!), suck it up and play nice.
3. DON'T make it all about you
You've been maimed by the student stylist, you may have a short jokey moan for five minutes, but absolutely no tears and/ or drama allowed.
4. DO take her to the toilet with peppy enthusiasm
If she's your bestie, this won't be the first time you've seen her bottom in all its glory.
5. Don't fall in love with an usher
There's some statistic about meeting spouses at weddings which we probably should know, but we don't. There's always the barman....
So, just keep these five simple rules in mind and get ready for 'bridesmaid of the decade' type accolades to follow. Please do let us know if we've missed any....